For All It's Worth
by Tis Time for Tea
Summary: How long had it been?  Two weeks…maybe three, four tops?  Three weeks since he had received that call.  The phone call that literally shattered his world.  He could remember everything as if it had all happened just yesterday afternoon.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of these characters. They are products of the Kingdom Hearts franchise... ...for now...

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How long had it been? Two weeks…maybe three, four tops? Three weeks since he had received that call. The phone call that literally shattered his world. He could remember everything as if it had all happened just yesterday afternoon.

_Things had been nothing but rough and rugged for Hayner and Xehanort. If they weren't fighting over what to watch on a late Friday night, they were fighting over the basis of their relationship. It was as if they had been forced into a sort of routine: Fight, not talk for a couple of hours, try to make up, find another reason to fight again, argue, try to make up, be fine for a day or two…That was about when the fighting would start again. Some of the silver haired man's friends had threatened him of starting a relationship with a younger male. Especially one who was only a junior in high school while he himself was already a sophomore in college. Two people with such a gaping age difference couldn't possibly have anything that could be classified as a "relationship," could they? _

_It was this very thought that had been spat out during another one of the two's verbal brawls. It was a line that neither of them had dared to cross an inch over; even at their very worst they kept far away from this disastrous observation. Believe it or not, it was Xehanort himself that had been the one to shout this fact out. Immediately he had felt a strong wave of guilt rush over him, one that would not recede and only leave him to drown. The absolutely anguish that came over his boyfriend's face didn't entirely help his struggling effort not to drown underneath his own guilt. Before he could even take in a breath, the young blonde had bolted out of Xehanort's apartment and into the downpour that had been plaguing their city for the last three days. _

_Xehanort had absolutely no way of contacting Hayner after that. As if on some dastardly cue, his teachers had found this to be the most opportunistic time to bury their students alive in essays and readings from heavy textbooks. And thanks to his field of study, he was following his father's footsteps by becoming a doctor; the work seemed to only triple itself on its own. The strain of his work nearly caused the death of him!...Well maybe not literally, but surely the strain was incredible. For days upon days the "couple" didn't exchange any words, and Hayner made no moves to call at all…The loss of words between them caused only a moment's worry within the silver haired man…before , of course, this worry was only buried by more work._

_It was at least a full school week before Xehanort had been able to do away with at least one mountain of paper and textbooks. Surprisingly, underneath all of his work he found his nearly dead phone, practically suffocated by the mass above it. He noticed a multitude of voicemails and text messages, most of which he ignored. Many were from friends and as he skimmed through the texts, a majority of them were asking for a shred of his genius for help with their own work. Well, looks as though he had failed them which would no doubt lead to some verbal abuse in the nearby future. Ah, but all of those messages were nowhere near important to the silver haired male. It was one that had the sender name 'Hayner'. Feeling his stomach twist itself in a knot Xehanort hesitated for at least a minute before his mind found the courage to allow his fingers to press a sole button, opening the message. The knot in his stomach soon untangled itself as his eyes scanned the screen._

'_Xehanort…it's Olette, Hayner's friend…please, please call when you get this message…it's really really important!'_

_Xehanort felt his brow knit together in a bit of confusion. Why would-? He cut his own thoughts off before he quickly pressed the 'Call' button on his phone. The message was addressed three days ago, but still the frantic tone of the message was enough to draw a shred of concern from him. The phone rang twice until he heard a girl's small voice answer._

"_H-Hello? Xehanort?"_

"_Olette, right? I'm sorry I'm just getting back to you now. I've been up to my neck in work and—" He was cut off by the other on the line in a sense of urgency._

"_Haynerwashitbyacar!" the girl shrieked into the phone, her voice had cracked through her scrunched answer as if she were on the verge of tears._

_Despite it having been blurted out in one breath, Xehanort had heard every word as if it were its own. Hayner…had been hit by a car…The news had rocked his entire body. Everything after that had been blurred by his mind. The only thing he can remember is arriving at the hospital he had managed to extract the whereabouts from Olette and meeting her in the lobby. Her eyes were red and bloodshot and she appeared as if she was ready to cry again. The two said nothing to each other as the girl guided him to his boyfriend's room. She had warned him about Hayner's condition and then after that she left with her things…_

Had so much happened only two weeks ago? Or was it a month ago? Xehanort's sense of time wasn't entirely the best nowadays. Even now as he sat in a hardened chair besides the young blonde's bed, he didn't know what the time was. Well, he had noticed the sun setting beyond the wide, streaked windows, but that had been a while ago now. His long hair caressed his stern, tanned cheeks as his golden-brownish eyes traced over the boy occupying the bed in front of him. It was Hayner, yes. White cloth bandages were wrapped around his head, suffocating his normally blond, almost sandy, windblown hair. Any more would have been underneath the pale blue polka dotted hospital gown he wore. Though there was a cast engulfing his left wrist that was trapped in the confinements of a navy blue sling. The doctors had told Xehanort that it could have been much worse, as if that was supposed to comfort him! Ha!

A sharp sigh left this man now, trying to fix his mind on something else. And that would be leaving. How long had he been sitting here in silence? Neither he nor Hayner had said a word…This started maybe a week ago. When Xehanort had first arrived, Olette had warned him that Hayner wouldn't be speaking for a while. Of course, the man had dismissed this factor instantly, just relieved that the boy was still alive. From then on, whenever the silver haired man came to the hospital, he would just…talk. It could have been about school, the weather, anything! He was glad for the privilege that he was still able to speak to Hayner face to face…save for the aspect that Hayner wasn't speaking. He had inquired this to the doctor's and they had said that they young boy was suffering from…from…Agh, wonderful he's forgotten now…No wait! The brunette he had spoken to said it was…an intracranial injury. Hmph, fancy words for a brain damage, or even a concussion. She had said it was a sort of emotional side effect to the injury or something like that…His mind had been much to clouded for it to focus on anything else other than the emotionally deprived pile that was his boyfriend.

Another sharp sigh left this man's mouth as he turned his eyes towards the nearby window. It was probably about time he left…And so he stood from his chair and grabbed the black messenger bag that had slumped to the cold tiled floor. Slipping the lengthy strap over his head and onto his shoulder the tanned man cast eyes to the boy on the bed.

"Hayner…I'm leaving now. I'll come back tomorrow, alright?" He muttered into the thin air between them, his words seeming just as invisible and slim. A heavy sigh was heaved as he exited the room, granting the nurses at the nearby station a slight incline of his head. Just to acknowledge their presence of course. He jogged to the elevators, suddenly feeling an increasing urge to get as far away from this dreaded place as he could. On any other occasion, Xehanort would have refused to even set foot near a hospital…It wasn't exactly his most favorite place in the world… He jumped into the elevator as soon as its doors parted. However, as he pressed the ground floor button and the doors begun to close, a voice shouted towards him.

"Hold the elevator!"

Despite himself, he held the doors open for the stranger who, to his surprise, also had a head full of silver hair, nearly as long as his own. Not only that, but the other man was…not bad-looking. In fact he was quite handsome with his serious, pointed features and amethyst gems for eyes. He wore a black turtleneck with dark denim pants and dark boots, a nice contrast for his hair which cascade well enough to his back. The man, who had been bent over panting, tilted one of those mesmerizing eyes towards Xehanort, a small smirk playing at his lips.

"Heh, thought you hadn't heard me. Thanks, man."

"N-No problem…" Xehanort muttered in reply, actually stuttering slightly in the company of this man. He could not help the thoughts that were now occupying his head. Could it have been prevented, though? The stranger was quite attractive…But he could have at least kept his foot from tapping!

"In a rush?" He heard the stranger asked him, nodding his chin in the direction of his still tapping foot. He slammed his toes down to the tiled floor of the elevator as it hummed in its descent.

"You could say that…I just… hate hospitals…" he admitted, though he didn't know why.

"Hmph, I do too. But, it helps when you're just focused on whoever you're visiting. Keep your mind off of where you are, see?"

"Well, it's not like I can. My bo—I mean, my friend who I'm visiting, he doesn't talk to me at all while I'm there." He had almost let it slip out! But then again…shouldn't he have said it in any case? After all, he didn't know this other man, wouldn't probably get to know him anyway. Why was he so concerned with what he would think of him and his life? "He just…stares at the wall or out of the window, but never directly at me."

"Ah I see. Is it a disease or…?" The elevator's bell rung and the doors flew open to reveal the lobby of the hospital. Despite this fact, neither man made a move to get off.

"It was an accident. He had been hit by a car…" Again Xehanort was just admitting fact after fact to this stranger, and he hadn't even learned the man's name. Well…it was a little early for that, wasn't it?

"I'm sorry." And for once, the apology that he had heard many times over sounded genuine. "Aren't you grateful that he's alive?"

"I am…it's just…" he trailed off as the doors to the elevator shut before them, but it didn't move. The stranger pressed the button and the doors flew open again and this time he took one step out, but he didn't leave.

"I know this may seem a bit sudden, but…would you care for a cup of coffee? My treat?" he offered with a slight raise of his eyebrow, about to take another step though waiting for Xehanort to answer first. "You can rant about your troubles to a stranger. It would help, wouldn't it?

"Thanks for the offer and all, but…" he trailed off once again as he thought about it. He could keep under control. Nothing would happen with him and this stranger. He still had Hayner…they were still in a relationship…weren't they? Their last fight hadn't really been…resolved such as the others they had had. Even with that, Xehanort was weary from all of their fighting and well…he did have needs and cravings that he wanted to satisfy. "…actually, that sounds great." The smile that was painted across the other man's lips was enough to cause his heart to pound and for his own mouth to return the gesture. "By the way, my name is Xehanort."

"Xehanort, eh?" the man echoed, the smile never departing from his face as he led the way out of the hospital and into the peeking sun. "Setzer." He outstretched his hand to be shaken which the college boy did with some vigor. "I know this quaint little café not too far from here. About a block or two if you feel like walking."

"It sounds perfect." He nodded his head as is to confirm his words. For the first time in a month Xehanort could feel a sort of burden having been lifted from his shoulders, or so he thought. It was strange, but he could almost feel as if there were two eyes staring down at him from above…

"So, he ran out in the rain and didn't even see the car coming?" Setzer asked after he had taken a sip of his still steaming coffee, his eyebrows raised in concern and surprise.

"According to what his friends told me. The doctors said it would make sense, match his injuries apparently." Xehanort let out yet another heavy sigh before he took a swig of his coffee, untouched and black. Just how he needed it at a time like this. The bitter taste felt welcome on his tongue though his throat complained at the immense heat. "I had been too busy finishing all of this work…and by the time I had been able to reach someone…" he bowed his head, staring into the dark depths of his drink. "…I might sound a bit selfish now, but it's been a lot for me to take in so suddenly. I don't even know what to do…"

"What do you mean, Xehanort?" Setzer asked, his brow knitted together in a bit of worry.

"I mean…it's not like we were better off than before this happened. What's the point of trying to reconstruct something that was never there before? I mean…he must feel the same way, he must know. I know he must blame me for what happened to him. I know I would."

"No one can blame you for what happened, and you shouldn't blame yourself. It'll eat you from the inside out if you give it the chance."

"How could you know?" he had asked this sharply, enough for the worry to melt away from Setzer's face.

"I went through the same thing you did, Xehanort. Don't think you're the only one in the world who's almost lost someone. You should consider yourself lucky you still have Hayner."

"Setzer…" he had already begun to think of an apology, but the other man wouldn't have it. He wasn't finished.

"Listen to me…Instead of sitting around and moping and trying to figure out what you _think_ is going on in Hayner's head, maybe you should trying to figure out what you _know_ about him first. From what you've told me about him, I doubt he would want you to leave him for anyone else. He reminds me a lot of…how Riku used to be."

"Riku?"

Setzer fished around in his pants' pocket before he withdrew a small black flip phone. He thumbed around the buttons before he turned the screen to face the other, a frown now creasing his features, emphasizing their pointed edges. Upon the screen was snapshot Setzer seated on a park bench with a boy younger than himself, also with a head full of silver hair but eyes of a blue-green. Both of them had smiles upon their faces, their arms around each other with Riku's head resting upon Setzer's shoulder.

"It was two years ago last week from today. We had had an argument, over something stupid I'm sure…I can't even remember it anymore." He paused to let a sigh escape from his lips. "Anyway, after our fight he ran out and I followed right behind him, angry that he had gotten the last word in. I tried to call him back, but he wouldn't have it and tried to put as much distance as he could between us. I had called him one last time, and that's when he turned around. He started to run back towards me, and I thought he had forgiven me…but that's when I heard the truck's horn blaring at me. My feet wouldn't move, but before I knew it…I was flat on my back on the sidewalk corner. I sat up in time to see him get hit and I couldn't stop screaming afterwards. I stayed by his side, cradling his bloody body in my arms. He said he was sorry for running off, fighting with me…and…" His eyes had become more jelly-like at this point, tears threatening to fall from his eyes even. "…he said he loved me, how he always would. And right before he died, I told him the exact same thing. I told him I would never love again…and I've kept my promise these two years…"

"Setzer…" Xehanort could feel a lump beginning to form within his own throat. He ran a quick hand through his hair as his mind raced and before he knew it, he was standing. "I don't think I can thank you enough…!" he grabbed up his messenger bag that had been nestled between his feet and shot the man one final fleeting glimpse before he was out of the café and bolting back to the hospital.

"Don't thank me…" was all Setzer whispered to himself after the other had gone, before he thumbed around his phone again, calling a number. It rang once, twice before someone answered.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey, it's me."

"_Setzer, hi. What's up?"_

"Nothing…Just thought I'd give my little brother a call."

"_Yeah right…Something's up, so you might as well tell me."_

"Nope, nothing really. Just wanted to call was all."

"_Riiight…Anyway, how's Dad? He alright?"_

"Yeah, let Mom know that he's doing well. The doctors said they may release him this week, and he said he wants a 'welcome home' dinner, heheh."

"_Heh, I'll let her know then. You on your way back now?"_

"Yeah, just had a chat with someone I met today."

"_What did you two talk about?"_

"Actually you, Riku."

"_What's that supposed to mean?" _But the only response that he received was a continuous string of sniggers from his older sibling, much to Riku's chagrin.

"Hayner!" Xehanort cried no sooner than when he had set foot in his boyfriend's room. Only…the sandy haired boy was nowhere to be found and panic ripped through the college boy's being. He ran to the nurse's station, his boyfriend's name leaving his lips as soon as he slammed his palms upon the fake wood that were their desks.

"Hayner? His doctor permitted him to get some fresh air today, so he would be in the gardens, but sir visiting hours are no longer—" Her hollow threat fell on deaf ears as Xehanort rushed back to the elevators, pressing the button as rapidly as he could. As soon as those doors opened to reveal the lobby of the hospital, he was running again, evoking a few shouts from the staff. He burst through double glass doors, golden-brown eyes already furiously searching for his love. He spotted a young figure seated upon one of the benches littered throughout the foliage, underneath one of the high-standing black lamps. Upon much closer inspection he found it to be Hayner and relief washed over him. "Hayner…?" he ventured, thankful for when the boy lifted his head towards him, no matter however slowly he had done it. He crept closer to the younger male, a tired smile occupying his face as soft pants emitted from him. As his eyes fell over his boyfriend's form, he felt the energy leave his body and he collapsed to his knees in front of the other.

"Hayner…you don't have to say anything…I just…I just want you to listen to me, okay? He didn't wait for the other to answer before he went on. "I want you to know just how much I love you, and I just want you to know…how happy I am that you're alive. I'm the luckiest guy alive right now and I hadn't even realized it. I'm sorry for…for thinking of myself while you've been here. I was only thinking of my needs while I should have been thinking of yours. Heck, I even _thought_ that you would have wanted to end what we had…what we still have, Hayner." He reached up to loosely grip one of the teenager's hands, and he was glad to see that he allowed him. "…We can start over if you want. We can just…forget the fights, forget all of the bad that has happened between us…" he pressed his lips to the other's knuckles, pressing the back of the blond's hand to his tanned forehead. A tear joined by others had begun to stream down his face now. "I just…I just can't have you leave me, Hayner…I'm not perfect I know, but I can change if you want. I promise things will be different…Just…Just don't leave me."

"Say it…again…" the voice startled him at first, but when he turned his eyes upward he noticed tears streaking down his love's face, despite the blank expression that still held its clutches over him. His mouth formed the words again. "Say you…love me…"

"I love you, Hayner. I love you, I love you, I love you…" he repeated over and over for him, and he would do so as many times as his love asked of him. He braced a hand besides the boy's leg, hosting his body high enough to plant a tentative kiss on the other's lips. He would have retreated had he not felt the other's lips small attempt to return the kiss. It wasn't much, but it was a start, that much was certain. And Xehanort would accept it; take it for all it was worth.

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**AN:** Wooow, it's been a long time. You all have permission to chew me out over my lack of updating and such. And chew my out for my absolute horrible love declarations. Haven't gotten many to work from, unfortunately, heehee. But yes, please do review whether it's good, bad, or whatever. Reviews are good for my health. :3


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